Emotionally weird..

when I was young, I loved to stare at the sky. I always was fascinated by the millions tiny little flickering lights that hung over us. When I read and learnt about all the theories about the universe and its immense size, I used to screw my brains off trying to think in to the infinity... I used to stare up and wonder what the hell am I? Time has gone by since then, I couldn't see stars when i looked up at colombo, all u see is the orange haziness!! even here, u only can spot venus and a few other bright ones through the smog!!!.. but I still find myself wondering, what the hell am I???

Most of the time I feel weird... I look outside at everything... and i can't help thinking, what would be others seeing right now??? its weird to think that we don't see us, but we see everything else!!! The concept of the "third person view" really fascinates me... I often wish if I could jump out of my body and have a good look at my own self... as if i'm looking at another person... don't u think it'll be fascinating?? and its really really funny to think that I've seen all these people but not myself!!! its only but a reflection I've seen!!!which we can take metaphorically, that we don't see ourselves.. this in a way could be really true when think about urself and the others around u... We often are biased on anything when it comes to our own selves!! we often are never wrong... we totally disregard chunks of valid data just to prove ourselves right and even go up to extremes to make sure that people see it ourway.. totally ignoring the real facts of the situation!!! we always try to judge everyone and everything else but ourselves!!! Ever since i've noticed this, i've always tried to take a step back, and think and look at everything through... of coz its really really hard!! but I try... I think me trying to do that have given me great insight about myself. and this definitely has adjusted my way of life and thinking and reacting patterns. People tend to think I'm a bit weird and different to a "normal" person... when one of my friends told me that, I asked her "what is normal??" to which she laughed!! its strange how people standardise things.. but the sad thing is, they totally forget about humans being individuals!!! sometimes I did too wondered if what they say is true and that i've lost it or something.!! but then after thinking a bit hard I realized that they're just being human!!!!