This is a forward that I got today... Thought i'd share it for a good laugh!!!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
After a long time....
Yeah.... A loooong time..... and two things are to be blamed...
1. The blog itself!!! something is wrong with this thing... I cannot log in to my account... atleast to comment... it was bloody irritating!!! But there was nothing I can do about it!!!
2. my busy life it self!! I am unbelievably busy these days!! so busy that I work on Saturday whole day and a bit of Sunday too.... and I'm ashamed to say that I've lost track of dates also!!! till one of my friends told me I was thinking that it was Thursday today!! NOW THAT was a messed up...
but to add a little bit of light to the boring busy life I went to see a stage play... the final show of "Horuth Samaga Heluwen!!!" by Jayalath Manorathne. Mr.Manorathne was not well so someone else played his roles but still it was fantastic...
Its actually two different stage plays "Horu" is one and "Heluwen" is another... now I'm clueless about the origins, some of the actors, who did the music, who wrote it... is it a translation or anything like that!! but I liked it... and the crowd was also good... didn't expect such alot of people to be there...
anyways I like the Horu part of the play.... its basically about a thiefe who tries to break in to the Mayors house and ending up in a big mess coz the Mayor who was not supposed to be there returned un expectedly with one of his girlfriends!!!! the story is too complicated to wrte down like this... but it was hilariouse... some good dialogs in it and some subtle hints too....
and the Heluwen part is also good... but i think its abit too rushed and not much body to it... maybe if JM him self did the part he might've kicked more life in to the character!!! but it also had some subtle critisism in it.. but could've been better... for some reason i think its a translation... I don't know for sure but.... anyway it was good entertainment.....
1. The blog itself!!! something is wrong with this thing... I cannot log in to my account... atleast to comment... it was bloody irritating!!! But there was nothing I can do about it!!!
2. my busy life it self!! I am unbelievably busy these days!! so busy that I work on Saturday whole day and a bit of Sunday too.... and I'm ashamed to say that I've lost track of dates also!!! till one of my friends told me I was thinking that it was Thursday today!! NOW THAT was a messed up...
but to add a little bit of light to the boring busy life I went to see a stage play... the final show of "Horuth Samaga Heluwen!!!" by Jayalath Manorathne. Mr.Manorathne was not well so someone else played his roles but still it was fantastic...
Its actually two different stage plays "Horu" is one and "Heluwen" is another... now I'm clueless about the origins, some of the actors, who did the music, who wrote it... is it a translation or anything like that!! but I liked it... and the crowd was also good... didn't expect such alot of people to be there...
anyways I like the Horu part of the play.... its basically about a thiefe who tries to break in to the Mayors house and ending up in a big mess coz the Mayor who was not supposed to be there returned un expectedly with one of his girlfriends!!!! the story is too complicated to wrte down like this... but it was hilariouse... some good dialogs in it and some subtle hints too....
and the Heluwen part is also good... but i think its abit too rushed and not much body to it... maybe if JM him self did the part he might've kicked more life in to the character!!! but it also had some subtle critisism in it.. but could've been better... for some reason i think its a translation... I don't know for sure but.... anyway it was good entertainment.....
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
They do make a sacrifice.....
This came through an e mail..... I thought that I should share it with all of you....
Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
____________ _________ ____
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
____________ _________ _____
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
____________ _________ _____
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
____________ _________ _____
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
____________ _________ _____
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
____________ _________ _____
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
____________ _________ _____
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
____________ _________ _____
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
____________ _________ _____
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
____________ _________ _____
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
____________ _________ _____
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
____________ _________ _____
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
____________ _________ _____
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
____________ _________ _____
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet
____________ _________ _____
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
____________ _________ _____
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
____________ _________ _____
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
____________ _________ _____
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
____________ _________ _____
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
____________ _________ _____
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be awakened by gunfire.
____________ _________ _____
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!
Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
____________ _________ ____
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
____________ _________ _____
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
____________ _________ _____
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
____________ _________ _____
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
____________ _________ _____
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
____________ _________ _____
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
____________ _________ _____
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
____________ _________ _____
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
____________ _________ _____
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
____________ _________ _____
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
____________ _________ _____
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
____________ _________ _____
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
____________ _________ _____
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
____________ _________ _____
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet
____________ _________ _____
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
____________ _________ _____
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
____________ _________ _____
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
____________ _________ _____
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
____________ _________ _____
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
____________ _________ _____
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be awakened by gunfire.
____________ _________ _____
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
PREY - The Earth's Saviour Doesn't Want the Job!!
Yeah... Now that is how I spent my poya day!!! I committed ALOT of sin killing a lot of aliens and basically destroying a whole planet... or a habbitat if I put it correctly!!!
Didn't get what I said??? Let me explain...
Produced by 3D Realms and developed by Human Head Studios along with Venom Games, using the legendary Doom 3 engine (which is not developed by id games though!!) "PREY" is a come back of the original game by 3D Realms in early 90's.
(For those who don't really understand where I'm getting at... its a PC game!!)
The Story
You play the role of Tommy (a Cherokee living on a reservation), having a heart to heart with himself. You hear about the emotional grief he has with the love of his life, Jen. Aspirations of what is beyond the reservation plague Tommy to the core and he is within a hair's width of leaving all together, despite his grandfather's wishes. If only Jen would come with him he knows he would be set, yet she is very content with her life and wishes to stay. Here is where the player enters.
Shortly after here the entire bar they work in is ripped from the ground and teleported to the "Sphere" in orbit near Earth. The Sphere is a living mother-ship occupied by a race that seeks to use the human race as food. A fantastic technology of variable portals and tractor beams allows the Sphere to pick and choose what it wants and incorporate that into itself. Tommy, Jen, and his grandfather Enisi are imprisoned on platforms that curve along tracks in the heart of the Sphere.
Where he manages to break free from what seems like a procuction line of a processing plant with help of a rogue!!! and get a gun in to his hand and starts making his way to free his Grand Pa and Jen...
Mixed in to this whole epic is an underlying story of Tommy trying to find himself in his Cherokee ways. All his life he has been resentful of the superstitious "mumbo-jumbo" that his grandfather has been preaching. The ways of the spirits, his ancestors, and everything Cherokee is simply not something Tommy wants to hear. Though his plight forces him to slowly accept things of his heritage, each step is very painful and met with a lot of resistance.
Game Play
Initially Prey looks like any other sci-fi-themed first-person shooter, you get a basic hud where they display the aquired weapons, health bar, the spirit bar (activates after you encounter your spirit realm) and ammunition.
The guns starting from the crazy-looking biomechanicalAssault riffle ( You start with a Pipe wrench but I recall myself going even 150 paces encountering a few small enemies with that... ) all the way to a rocket launcher... most of the weapons are biomechanical with living parts in them that moves and wiggles about when idling.. and they automatically reload... and the Rifle that i mentioned has a sniper mode to it... most bizaare sniper version i've encountered that the living scope of the sniper comes and plugs in to your eye... giving a decent zooming ability and a heat signature too!!!
The weapons are just part of Prey's unusual design. What's really wild about the game is
how it uses direction, gravity, and portals to surprise you, disorient you, and impress you. Basically, "up" and "down" is relative throughout the game; certain types of corridors allow you to run straight up onto a wall and then keep moving "forward." Portals tear through the fabric of the bizarre alien landscape you're fighting in, revealing completely different environments on the other side. You run right on through (and can even fire your weapons through) and just keep going, and you'll be suddenly surrounded by different terrain. It comes to real weired levels where you have to shoot and activate the gravity polarizors to "choose" which side you want the ground to be... and not to forget the "walkers" the gravity paths that lets you walk even on the ceiling!!!
Another cool twist to Prey is that you evidently can't die. Your character may leave his body, traveling in sort of a spirit world. It's reminiscent of the Soul Reaver action adventure series, though we're happy to see that the game's innovative twist finds its way into a first-person shooter. When defeated, it looks as if you'll have to literally fight your way back from death's door, shooting the enemies of your ancestors red demons to regain health and blue demons to regain the spirit health... you'll get only about 15seconds to do this till you're sucked back in to the metal world to fight your way....
The soul or the spirit realm is another added feature... Tommy can go in to the spirit realm anytime he wants to.. this comes in handy to go around in the game.. specially through the force fields... and talking about spirits... you cannot forget Talon. The spirit form of Tommy's pet hawk from his childhood who comes along to guide and aid in his quest. It helps us by attacking and distracting the enemies and perching on important consoles hinting us what to do and to decipher the alien language...
Graphics and Sound.
Its the Doom 3 engine... Heavily modified.. not many options to change and play around with... splendid use of color and great visual!!! No glitches that I encountered... I need not say anything else apart from that...
Conclusion
As expected, Prey was quite a treat to play through. provided enough enjoyment to keep you entertained until the next big thing comes along. My concern does lie with the replay value of Prey. I started to go back and play through again, but didn't feel near as much drive as I did the first time when the mysteries were still to be discovered. This leads me to believe the game is pulled along by story a lot more than it is by actual game play. Despite the replay value, simplistic interface, and occasionally cheesy dialogue, I would more than recommend this game to anyone wanting something new. The gravity defying levels, portals, and visuals make it worth your time.
2. Learning Curve - 10
3. Replayability - 6
4. Fun - 9
5. Sound - 9
6. Graphics -10
7. Compatibility - 10
8. Price - 6 (well it really doesn't effects us here!!)
9. Availability - 10
10. Originality - 10
Total: 90
Didn't get what I said??? Let me explain...
Produced by 3D Realms and developed by Human Head Studios along with Venom Games, using the legendary Doom 3 engine (which is not developed by id games though!!) "PREY" is a come back of the original game by 3D Realms in early 90's.
(For those who don't really understand where I'm getting at... its a PC game!!)
You play the role of Tommy (a Cherokee living on a reservation), having a heart to heart with himself. You hear about the emotional grief he has with the love of his life, Jen. Aspirations of what is beyond the reservation plague Tommy to the core and he is within a hair's width of leaving all together, despite his grandfather's wishes. If only Jen would come with him he knows he would be set, yet she is very content with her life and wishes to stay. Here is where the player enters.
Shortly after here the entire bar they work in is ripped from the ground and teleported to the "Sphere" in orbit near Earth. The Sphere is a living mother-ship occupied by a race that seeks to use the human race as food. A fantastic technology of variable portals and tractor beams allows the Sphere to pick and choose what it wants and incorporate that into itself. Tommy, Jen, and his grandfather Enisi are imprisoned on platforms that curve along tracks in the heart of the Sphere.Where he manages to break free from what seems like a procuction line of a processing plant with help of a rogue!!! and get a gun in to his hand and starts making his way to free his Grand Pa and Jen...
Mixed in to this whole epic is an underlying story of Tommy trying to find himself in his Cherokee ways. All his life he has been resentful of the superstitious "mumbo-jumbo" that his grandfather has been preaching. The ways of the spirits, his ancestors, and everything Cherokee is simply not something Tommy wants to hear. Though his plight forces him to slowly accept things of his heritage, each step is very painful and met with a lot of resistance.
Game Play
Initially Prey looks like any other sci-fi-themed first-person shooter, you get a basic hud where they display the aquired weapons, health bar, the spirit bar (activates after you encounter your spirit realm) and ammunition.
The guns starting from the crazy-looking biomechanicalAssault riffle ( You start with a Pipe wrench but I recall myself going even 150 paces encountering a few small enemies with that... ) all the way to a rocket launcher... most of the weapons are biomechanical with living parts in them that moves and wiggles about when idling.. and they automatically reload... and the Rifle that i mentioned has a sniper mode to it... most bizaare sniper version i've encountered that the living scope of the sniper comes and plugs in to your eye... giving a decent zooming ability and a heat signature too!!!
The weapons are just part of Prey's unusual design. What's really wild about the game is
how it uses direction, gravity, and portals to surprise you, disorient you, and impress you. Basically, "up" and "down" is relative throughout the game; certain types of corridors allow you to run straight up onto a wall and then keep moving "forward." Portals tear through the fabric of the bizarre alien landscape you're fighting in, revealing completely different environments on the other side. You run right on through (and can even fire your weapons through) and just keep going, and you'll be suddenly surrounded by different terrain. It comes to real weired levels where you have to shoot and activate the gravity polarizors to "choose" which side you want the ground to be... and not to forget the "walkers" the gravity paths that lets you walk even on the ceiling!!!Another cool twist to Prey is that you evidently can't die. Your character may leave his body, traveling in sort of a spirit world. It's reminiscent of the Soul Reaver action adventure series, though we're happy to see that the game's innovative twist finds its way into a first-person shooter. When defeated, it looks as if you'll have to literally fight your way back from death's door, shooting the enemies of your ancestors red demons to regain health and blue demons to regain the spirit health... you'll get only about 15seconds to do this till you're sucked back in to the metal world to fight your way....
The soul or the spirit realm is another added feature... Tommy can go in to the spirit realm anytime he wants to.. this comes in handy to go around in the game.. specially through the force fields... and talking about spirits... you cannot forget Talon. The spirit form of Tommy's pet hawk from his childhood who comes along to guide and aid in his quest. It helps us by attacking and distracting the enemies and perching on important consoles hinting us what to do and to decipher the alien language...
Graphics and Sound.
Its the Doom 3 engine... Heavily modified.. not many options to change and play around with... splendid use of color and great visual!!! No glitches that I encountered... I need not say anything else apart from that...
Conclusion
As expected, Prey was quite a treat to play through. provided enough enjoyment to keep you entertained until the next big thing comes along. My concern does lie with the replay value of Prey. I started to go back and play through again, but didn't feel near as much drive as I did the first time when the mysteries were still to be discovered. This leads me to believe the game is pulled along by story a lot more than it is by actual game play. Despite the replay value, simplistic interface, and occasionally cheesy dialogue, I would more than recommend this game to anyone wanting something new. The gravity defying levels, portals, and visuals make it worth your time.
1. Theme - 10
2. Learning Curve - 10
3. Replayability - 6
4. Fun - 9
5. Sound - 9
6. Graphics -10
7. Compatibility - 10
8. Price - 6 (well it really doesn't effects us here!!)
9. Availability - 10
10. Originality - 10
Total: 90
(with courtsey of Game Pyre)
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Out from the silent planet....
What a HECTIC week it was.... ok.. before anything folks... so sorry for disappearing from the blogger's world all of a sudden!!! There were some stuff at work that required immediate attention and I virtually was drowned in it...
What happened was.... on saturday I was informed that we were taking part in an exhibition on the 29th!!!! So.. there was plenty of running around and trying to get stuff together.... and friday was my mom's birthday and me and my bro's had some surpises for her..... so I had to go to Kandy on friday early morning.... and here i am today the saturday back at work!!! and its 4.00PM on the saturday afternoon and i'm ALONE at office!!! working... (and attending to my blog too!!!)
well there's a shit load to do still.... and if I don't attend to it now I'll be in shit...
SO... I'm gonna have to excuse myself... and get back to work... will get back to you guys ASAP!! bye for the moment and hope u guys didn't miss me too much!!! he he he he!!!!! :-)
What happened was.... on saturday I was informed that we were taking part in an exhibition on the 29th!!!! So.. there was plenty of running around and trying to get stuff together.... and friday was my mom's birthday and me and my bro's had some surpises for her..... so I had to go to Kandy on friday early morning.... and here i am today the saturday back at work!!! and its 4.00PM on the saturday afternoon and i'm ALONE at office!!! working... (and attending to my blog too!!!)
well there's a shit load to do still.... and if I don't attend to it now I'll be in shit...
SO... I'm gonna have to excuse myself... and get back to work... will get back to you guys ASAP!! bye for the moment and hope u guys didn't miss me too much!!! he he he he!!!!! :-)
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