My father was a civil servant. He was a senior person in the government.... A very distinguished person... was respected by everyone for his straight forward actions and the personality.... He really enjoyed working... and he really put all his efforts in to his work... Work was always on the top of his list... (if it ever came to the second position... well then it was my mom who took that...) and he really enjoyed the prestige of his profession... he had reached the top of the ladder... we had the government provided bungalows, vehicles (which of coz he NEVER abused-we never get to drive any of those superb vehicles simply because its was against the law.. and we never had a problem with that) and all the other luxuries.... and he enjoyed it!!!!
And all good things should come to an end...
After a few decades of service... he retired... we returned to our home in Kandy again.... which was not occupied for a long time...
now before continuing any longer... let me tell you a bit about my family...
My parents have four children... all boys... making my mom the ONLY female in the family...
Eldest son - he turned in to an army man... a captain... the second - In the electronics and telecommunication field working for an ISP as an engineer. He is married and settled down living in Kadawatha and is expecting to be a father in another few months... I’m so excited and looking forward for that!!!!
Third - that’s me... and fourth my younger brother; after doing his A/L, he took upon robes, he is Buddhist monk.
so right now everyone is out of Kandy (or Home if you consider my monk brother...)
two weeks after his retirement on a Wednesday my father called me up and asked if I'd be coming to Kandy?? now... with all business and work my father had... we never were as close as I wanted him to be with us... he always kept a distance and we couldn't joke with him and all that... he was serious and always expected to be treated with respect... still he wanted us around... He gets annoyed if the kids and the wife is not at home when he returns home after work!!
well anyway... he called me up and I thought that I'd going home that weekend...
So with all the work on my back... I took the Saturday off.... and left early on the Saturday morning...
I looked home at around 9.30 A.m. I opened the gate slowly to see my father working in the garden... the house was white-washed, garden being taken care of... it looked alive after a long time...
my father was in a pair of shorts working on a flower bed, and my mom was standing next to him with a cup of tea for him... (My mom; only a few months younger to him will retire in a few months... she is a graduate teacher...) and they were laughing about something...
they stopped laughing and turned around at the gate to see who is entered... they looked happy.... so much alive and happy... content...
I stopped dead for a moment holding the gate... I knew what I wanted in my life... in my relationships... I knew how I wanted to be when I reached towards the end of my life...
My parents were getting old... what was once beautiful and attractive is not that anymore, they're running out of energy and decaying is overtaking them... their siblings moved out of the nest and no longer with them... All they have is each other...
The meaning of the word "partner" struck like a thunderbolt... look at them... after all these years... still enjoying the companionship... still sharing everything... still being the people whom turn to.... helping each other through out in everyway to lead a good life....
I see the young couple who are married only for a couple of years and already their families are almost shattered... I've seen girls holding on to a marriage only because of their children... what are they heading in to... how are they going to survive at that stage???
at the end of the day.. all the beauty will be gone and money and all the worldly things will loose its value... all your children will have to move out and find their own way.... it'll be only you and your partner and the ability to keep each others companionship will be THE thing that keep us going...
so stop... and think for a while... what do we really want from a relationship??... What is it that we have to look for in a partner??... What do we want that the end of the days...
7 comments:
then sudden thunderbolts ah mate. out of no where and you wonder to yourself would you be standing where your father is standing now and who would be there next to you holding that cup of tea?? they say history repeats itself and time is cycle. man's life is cycle, some see it as incomplete without another partner, but thts why man upstairs gave us family, friends and society. wht would come of us at that age. for me maybe its tooo young to think about it but one day i'd be there too... so wht do you value in your life, is it just a partner for your lifetime or a career or bachelor lifestyle and prefer the solidarity?
that's a good post thacks..:) it sure does get one thinking. actually, the person who's meant to be with you will find his/her way.....but u need to know exctly what u want from that special someone... sometimes people get lost in the midst of so many material things and they forget to seek what they really want..it's not about money, beauty and luxuries, but more of love, peace, harmony, companionship, understanding, committment, sacrifice etc etc...
So, someone's in the mood for wedding bells eh?;) All the best!!!!:)
When thinking deeply about the 4 brothers I believe that the youngest is the person who chose the correct path if he managed to get through the difficult chapters. There is no doubt in that. Life is hard and ultimately life sucks. That’s what needs to be understood. Your parents and my parents will leave us and we will leave them like all children and parents did and will do. That’s the hardest truth of all. All the love and care we nourished will be a memory some day and that memory too will vanish with time. Where do we stand and what we really want is not any of those but to understand the deeper meaning of life and how much we achieve not to make that mistake again.
well said FM! that's just what i had in mind.. life is all about suffering...even something like love makes u want to cling onto life and not find everlasting peace...isn't that right?
That’s the ultimate truth Divine. Some can say its gods will and some can say its karma. But at the end result is the same. The minute we born the death and suffering come along. One unhappy moment stays in our minds than 1000 happy moments. Why because that the reality. Happiness while living is a mere mirage and a garnish on top of an ugly dish. We all see the garnish and start to like the dish knowing its bad…
Got deeply touched.a nice write . even i could visualize what uve written.nice and sensitive write.
of course i agree what you have told. the relationships and the concepts of the partners,love and all what we discuss suddenly come to a simple end like this , from a feeling we get when we foresee the future ahead and what it should be.i love this great write!
Thanks nango... Glad u appreciate it...
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