A note from my ex....

Dear Thack,

I hope you're doing well. Its weird how we all start a written message or a mail with that statement... Since I know you well, I know that to everyone's eye you must be "doing well"... Then again I know your fluctuating moods.
I think I know you well enough to say that you're bugged with something... Of coz unlike most other people I know, instead of your face and your words, your published work has always been the reflection of your inner self. and even that is not straight forward!! You always hide your emotions in a cyclone of (almost) irrelevant words within your work. I should say that it was nearly impossible for me to read you most of the time, but then again, you always managed to show what exactly you wanted others to read, and then maybe sometimes you decided against it ended up confusing your reader again with something else... it was interesting and frustrating at the same time...

Ok, leave that bit for the time being. I'm good. Life is going on as it could and I'm living a purposeful life. I have my targets to cover, and I have dreams that I pursue and I enjoy on my way. True its not easy, but its my believe that it couldn't have happened any other way. I know that the we all think from time to time that we could've had a better life. True... we could've; or we could've not!!! as you always expected, my honest answer will be, no one would know!!! But looking at a chain of events in my recent years, I'd say things happen for a reason, and its almost impossible for it to happen otherwise. Both you and I through our experience know that we make the best choice that we could make at the given point; which leads us to the present. The choice of course is always the killer I suppose. So yeah, we made our choices in the past and our paths have being lead by them to the present.

Shifting the focus back to you my friend; (well I'll happily call you my friend still because you are. I found the best of friends in you before everything turned in to a beautiful relationship which followed by a complicated mess!) I'm not happy that you're still lingering in your past. It'll be partly my fault, since I know your weaknesses maybe I should step completely away, so that you will not be reminded of and start reliving your past. You were a good friend who helped me through my life, being there through each and every step sharing. and I'm quite sure that you still are the nice helpful dude I used to know. It was your weakness and your strength. I know how careful you are in your relationships and how you try to manage each and everything in your relationships. Even though I still strongly disagree with your way; I still believe that you always had the reasons to act the way you did; which you could always explain in great detail and it always made sense!! After all, you are the kind of person who'd take a fall instead of hurting even your enemy. in that way you're a bit weak I think, but again I know you'd face the fall directly, and be happy about how you managed to keep your cool and how much the other person needed that, making you stronger than anyone who'd just face things with anger or rage. You always said that if you think you understand better than the others, then its you would do things that other people might think crazy, weird or even kissing ass!!!

Which of course makes you "that" guy!! :P (of course you knew where this is heading to didn't you??) Probably that was the first time I've seen you pouring yourself out like that. I thank you and appreciate you for the person you are. Even though you being "that guy" did actually caused a lot "problems" in the last bit of our life, it is whom you are!!! I don't think you can help it even if you tried to. and I know for a fact that you help or be there for people who deserve/ need it. I don't know where the note/ Blog post was aimed to. Maybe it was just self realisation or it was meant to go to someone specific or it was just aimed at your past. as for
Self realization–well you probably knew yourself before that writing, and I know that you hardly spit things out for the person whom you'd reach out to read. You'd probably wait for them to realise or simply be a very honest and say it to the face. If its aimed at your past. well, I never too you for a fool but there was a point that I thought you (are)were extremely selfish!!! I'm sorry that I'm trying to analyse your action right now, but I'm just trying your methods I guess!! (and yep, I still hate the fact that you always had to analyse each and every thing in a relationship... Oh how much I hated it when you'd sit back, take a few seconds with a blank face to think, i could see the chain of thoughts running on head head!!!! I still say that sometime you SHOULD let things happen and leave the analysing out!!!) anyway, back to the topic, You are that guy, and I could relate and even add a fair bit to that list. I know that you do all that, and let the person to turn the back to you; but still will be able to NOT to get pissed off with the person and just be happy that you helped. I know how many people did that to you even. I just wanted to know, people probably realise whom you are and appreciate your help and support. It disturbs me that you spat that out, because its highly unlike you. You've always been a good friend to people. Truthful, honest and caring we love you for that. I miss the comfort zone that I had with you, I miss sharing every ridiculous though and incident of my day in the afternoon, I miss the good fine intellectually stimulating talks we used to have, I miss being able to read a novel and have a fine discussion over it, I miss walking on a road and being able to make a joke of every stone, pebble or a blade of grass that we might encounter on our way. I miss my friend. You are a better friend than a lover. You can give love in a way that others cannot or maybe even wouldn't. I don't see things been any different from how they're now though, things happen for a reason, just try to realize the reason. after all, you always searched for a purpose and reason in life, maybe it is to share the kindness and love you have within you...

I hope that your emotional hurricane will settle and everything will turn out to be ok soon. You just be yourself, and let people accept you for whom you are!! thats what you always said, and I know that its actually the best thing to do. True everyone has their weaknesses and everyone makes mistakes and fall sometimes. but whats important is that you learn, (which you always did..) it makes you a better person every time I suppose. that is what makes a person.. Thats what makes you THAT guy whom you are.

Love

xxx

Rock Unplugged!!! slightly plugged!!!

Yep... I did go... and you know that I'd definitely go...

It was awsome... well... it was sometime since I last saw any of the bands playing live... When the Rock Company had "Rock Saturday"s happenning we did see the bands once a month!!

now they say that these will be happennign every sunday at Clancy's... I missed the gig on the previous Sunday... I simply was clueless!!! lets hope they continue!!!

The band listing was good. they had all the bands that were mentioned in the poster!!!!
All of them were good... we have some real talented bunch of guys out there!!! young pups and "experieced" dudes!!!
all of em rocked equally...

it was supposed to start at three - but started way after 4.30PM (I really won't complain about it.. coz i think 3.00 PM is a bit too early.. and it was awkward seeing clancy's in braod daylight!!! he eh he... and since the very first rock company events.. they NEVER started on time... so its kinda ok...) it ended around 8.30 - 9.00 i don't remember exactly... Stigmata gave a brilliant ending... it was heavy - not the real "Acoustic - Unpligged" thingi that u'd expect though!!!

PE - The boys from Kandy
(well yeah.. u can't see shit in the pics!! I'd say its Iron Maiden and Iced Earth playing you'd still wouldn't know the diff!! )
One of the leading bands in the scene these days...

Stigmata
The Aces in Sri Lankan Metal scene!!!
and they're GOOD!!! VERY GOOD!!!
I don't know since when they got that (new) drummer of their's!!
I remember him from long ago.. i think he's from kandy... one of PE's friends or something like that... carrying water bottles and stuff!!! if i remember correctly... he always gave me an impression of a jackass... did a good job doing that too!! he's just a bit too much "wanna be" type!!! He fucking shows off more that Suresh himself!!!
He's ok with the drums though.. but there are better ppl around!!!

Looooooooooong busy week end...

Friday Night...

Well i started from Kandy on Friday.. came to office at around 2.00PM.

The plans were made during the day time to go out with some of my friends. We got together and went to R&B at around 11.00PM. For me thats one of the cooles night clubs in Colombo... its more matured like... cool crowd and nice music. We had mega fun dancing till about 3.30 a.m.....

Then out we came and some of us were feeling hugry... and yes... you guessed right... where else to go but to pillawoos... We hopped in to Chathu's car... and headed towards Kolpetty....

On our way we were stopped by police for a routine check... and then came the "Oh Shit!!" situ... My friend's sister didn't have her ID with her!!! The scene got ugly when one of my buddies got a biiiit violent and said something that "annoyed" the cops... What happened after that was pretty bad... she immediately turned out to be a pros in the eyes of the cops... they said a few things that they really shouldn't have... but at the perticular moment.... under those circusmstances it was inevitable... I basically had to calm everything down (being the eldest and the sober one out of the bunch!!) and talk my way thorugh in to letting us go... It wasn't hard actually but what that poor girl had to go through because of some loud mouthed idiotic cops was bad... she was upset... we all were upset and it basically killed the mood.....
we had tea... headed back home...

Saturday.

Woke up at 9.00 a.m as I had and exam in the after noon.... so got up... got myself in the "exammination" mood... and then headed to the exam hall by 11.30... finished the exam at around 4.30 pm and from there went straight up to Rajagiriya.... why?? to meet ma good friend chathu and with him to see the "Modified car fest" in battaramulla....

Now that was one hell of a show... in SL standards... there were some classy shit there... a couple of supra's caught my immediate attention... nice sexy looking Honda civics... some RX8s with sexy curves.. STis that were dying to jump in to the roads and run like mad dogs... Mitsubish's who was ready kick the guts out of anyone who wanted to challege them...
It was awsome... and there we were... in Chathu's custom made Mustang... creating quite a scene there... we never entered the contests... It really didn't interest us.. but we did enjoy walking around listenning to the baby's purr here and there... checking out the neons'... music systems blah blah blah... and yo... not to forget the ONLY other muscle car... i think it was a 7 sri Toyota Corona hatch back... two head lights... nickle trimms etc... looked good... nice to see some muscle spirit spreading.... he he he...

We loafed around in that place till about 9.00 and right before the rain we headed back home... i mean to his place...

And then it started.... and yeah... it was a massive rain... it basically rained cats and dogs and kittens and puppies.... massive rain... and i fell asleep in a cosy couch.... woke up next morning to see aunty holding a cup of tea!!!!

Sunday...

There was a celebration on... Chris's birthday... we stormed his place... gate crashed that buggers house... ate his lunch and knocked ourselves out... by 7.00 P.m we were all set to go to Parliment grounds to pay a little visit to the giant screen....

And it was massive... a sea of crowd... cheering the SL team... the screen gave a little bit of problems in the begining but they managed to fix it... after that it was super... it was good... great sounds better... I really think SLRC deserves a pat in the back for setting that mega screen there... coz it was more like actually being at the ground itself... with hundreds of people shouting and cheering... papara bands playing all over... it was awsome... we had a really nice time wathcing a really nice bit of Cricket...

And we won!!!... as everyone knows by now... I returned to Chatu's place... and then the discussion started... what did the two of us talked about??... alot of things... how long did it last??? till 6.00 am.... sleep... well.. yeah... we were yet to think of it...

Monday.
I returned home by 11.30 am... (my boarding place!!) slept my ass out after cleaning my room... woke up at 7.00 p.m.... had dinner!! played a little bit of computer games.... and decided that I need to sleep...
But it was too warm!!! I was sweating as if was in Sahara or something.... Then again a friend of mine called... well the same guy whom i've been hanging out with.... said he was somewhere near my boarding... so... got dressed... went for a ride.... ended up on some river bank near Pita kotte.... it was a nice serene place... with the moon on top of us... we had time for another very good constructive discussion..... it was very nice.... and headed back home at around 2.00 am...

Now that was a LOOOOOOOONG busy weekend!!!!!

Bye mate... it was nice having you around!!!

Lord Buddha ones said….

Having to be away from the ones you love is poignant.

Through my life I’m leaned it and experienced it in many ways. When people pass away, when your friends and family move; go away from you. Maybe because of their jobs, maybe because of their studies… Maybe they’ll come back or maybe they won’t!!!

And the blessed one had told in the same sutra;

Having to reside or dwell with the people you abhor is also poignant.

This is some of the greatest sufferings that a human can go through….

In one of my previous posts I’ve mentioned an incident at my office… when one of the newly joined Miss Pink was almost mislead by my fellow workers. When young Miss Red wanted to spill some mud on me for some reason that god and she only knows… maybe not even god…

Ironically the whole plan backfired and we became best of friends at office… and she turned out to be one of the best people that I’ve known… She had great many qualities in her that none in the office possessed… She was matured in both life and work… she turned out to be a very faithful individual to the company.

Sadly (for me) she got a better offer and due to a little dissatisfaction at work and some major problems with her people after a reasonable amount of consideration she decided to take it… The new offer is very good for her… She’ll get some cool facilities, better working hours and she’d get to work in a field that she already knows like the back of her hand; Above all she’ll be comfortable with the people there too…

So it’s really good for her…

So I’m gonna experience both “Having to be away from the ones you!!” and “Having to reside or dwell with the people you abhor!!” as I really don’t enjoy the company of anyone here… maybe apart from the chairman of the company whom I work closely with…

I love what I do here… I enjoyed it throughout my working period here… but one thing was always lacking… that is a person that whom you can really interact with… someone who would really tone with me. A good person whom you really can treat and accept as a friend… these people have the tendency to recruit people who are to a different category as to mine… She did fit in to the category… and we made very good friends… She was eternally enthusiastic at her work; loved what she did; wanted the best for the company. She is one of the people who didn’t have the “ah well… the hell I should bother… I’d join somewhere else if it gets any harder here!!” attitude.

It’s a big loss for the company, but good for her… so… I’m happy for her… even if I’m gonna miss my good friend and lunch buddy…

(Obviously we’d still keep in touch and all that…. Not that the friendship will end or something…)

So I bid her farewell and wish her all the best at her new place… good luck my friend I know that you’d do very well wherever you are… It was nice working with you…and having you around!!!