Emotionally weird..

when I was young, I loved to stare at the sky. I always was fascinated by the millions tiny little flickering lights that hung over us. When I read and learnt about all the theories about the universe and its immense size, I used to screw my brains off trying to think in to the infinity... I used to stare up and wonder what the hell am I? Time has gone by since then, I couldn't see stars when i looked up at colombo, all u see is the orange haziness!! even here, u only can spot venus and a few other bright ones through the smog!!!.. but I still find myself wondering, what the hell am I???

Most of the time I feel weird... I look outside at everything... and i can't help thinking, what would be others seeing right now??? its weird to think that we don't see us, but we see everything else!!! The concept of the "third person view" really fascinates me... I often wish if I could jump out of my body and have a good look at my own self... as if i'm looking at another person... don't u think it'll be fascinating?? and its really really funny to think that I've seen all these people but not myself!!! its only but a reflection I've seen!!!which we can take metaphorically, that we don't see ourselves.. this in a way could be really true when think about urself and the others around u... We often are biased on anything when it comes to our own selves!! we often are never wrong... we totally disregard chunks of valid data just to prove ourselves right and even go up to extremes to make sure that people see it ourway.. totally ignoring the real facts of the situation!!! we always try to judge everyone and everything else but ourselves!!! Ever since i've noticed this, i've always tried to take a step back, and think and look at everything through... of coz its really really hard!! but I try... I think me trying to do that have given me great insight about myself. and this definitely has adjusted my way of life and thinking and reacting patterns. People tend to think I'm a bit weird and different to a "normal" person... when one of my friends told me that, I asked her "what is normal??" to which she laughed!! its strange how people standardise things.. but the sad thing is, they totally forget about humans being individuals!!! sometimes I did too wondered if what they say is true and that i've lost it or something.!! but then after thinking a bit hard I realized that they're just being human!!!!

Guess its because I'm THAT guy!!!

Well, U might ask me, why??? Of coz I didn't have to help you, no one else did!!! and in a way even YOU do not seems to be bothered about your things as much as I do!!!
So yeah... I did do it,.. but still ... why???

Coz i'm the guy who'd help you out,
I'm the guy who'd do it for u, and never expect anything from u in return,
I'm the guy who's happy that you're my friend,
I'm the guy who'd do anything to see a smile on your face,
I'm the guy you calls when you need to pour your heart out,
I'm the guy whom will be in your background always giving all the support you need,
I'm the guy who'd be there for u when u'r in trouble and in need,
I'm the guy whom finds you pretty, even when u just got out of bed,
I'm the guy who's accepted you for whom you are,
I'm the guy whom u can neglect all you want but still hang around watching and caring,
I'm the guy whom you know that will be there for you, still slip out of your mind when things are right,
I'm the guy whom you forget the moment I step out of the door,
I'm the guy who won't get pissed off coz you ditch my calls,
Coz I'm the guy who loves you and not expect it in return,

You might take me for a fool, and a fool I might be, and I'm not noble either, I do what makes me feel happy, guess it makes me that guy!!!

randomly bored.. or maybe just bored!!!...

Its been a weirdly long time since I've posted anything at all here.. of coz there was that last post but that was more like an advertisement!!! LOL..

my blog is becoming quite a crappy random collection of writings i've done in various moods.. well.. fuck it.. I can' be bothered!!!

anyways... its 2.00 AM, I've come back from work a few hours ago, and tried to work on an assignment.. which of coz didn't quite work and ended up browsing around aimlessly....

life, recently has been weird.. for about four five months my life was a routine.. uni - work - uni - work, i left home at a certain time, took the same bus in the morning, same bus in the night back home... i never was a creature of habbits as such. I always kept things quite random and I liked it.. but I noticed that i've really got in to a weirdly boring routine!!!!

Human interaction too has gone down quite significantly... I've hardly gone out with friends... actually I've begun to stick only a very few good friend(S)... of coz i've kept myself busy with online friends... what i'm talking about it physically going out with friends...

anyways.. i'm trying to break away from it.. otherwise i'll end up being a real boring piece of shit!!! which i think i am already.. my communication skills are going down rapidly!! probably because i hardly talk to anyone...

Anyways... I'm creativity too seems to suffer a bit from all this imbalance... not just drawing and painting but coming up with new ideas.... i seems to have lost my old touch and become a bit stale in that department...

hmmm...

Anyways... I got to break free!!! Thats a good place to start.. I'll start with listening to Freddie!!!

Another year......

Well.. here we are... 2008... just like that... he he he..

since Jan 2007, I'm still not over my ex, I've resigned from my job, I'm 8000 miles away ... leaving everyone I know and love... go settled in a totally strange land.. and well.. doing good too... :) but it was wild ride... specially the leaving my job part... it was not due to having to leave for my studies... it was because of a slutty lying bitch at work who thought that I was "problem" for her career!! and a stupid enough chairman who actually bought a story that made no sense... ya whatever.... heard the accusations on the first day.. and the next day i resigner.. it was totally pointless.. thankfully i had by back up plans already in motion.. so it was ok... I left the country after that...

the worst thing was... to leave my parents and my bro's and specially my friends.. whom i spend all my free time with... and all the other comforts.. the cool income and the car... which i cannot afford anymore.. and have to rely on public transport... [which is much better than sl.. but still... :( ] but it was good change...

weird the way how I celebrated though... Frankly I didn't celebrate at all... went to the local library.. and got myself a book that i always wanted to read.. that was about it... thinking of it... i think i can see a few reasons why I just stayed in...

first... I simply was not bothered...
second... the company... I had the coolest friends back in SL.. and i never met anyone who could even match that here... of coz they're totally different..but very nice friendly people.. but.. maybe for me it takes a while to make friends... anyways... if i had some cooler company.. it might have been different...
third... hate to admit it but financial.... :P yeah well... not easy to spend in multiplications of 220 u know.. :P

but unlike any of u.. I went to places that only u can go in ur imagination.. and frankly i totally lost track of time untill i hear the fireworks... he he he..

speaking of fireworks..

i heard that at London they spend 1 million pounds for new years ever fireworks display thing...
that would be about 200 million SL rupees... now THAT is wasting... just imagine what they could've done with that money... a half of it maybe... around the world.. how much needy people are there!!!

hmmm.. well... maybe thats something we all can think of in this new year.... again.. no one will actually bother even...

anyways ppl...

A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hope all of u will have a good one... :D

Hidden Emoticons In Skype.

Most of the people around seems to be unaware of the fact that there are a few emoticons in skype that are hidden... infact there are about 12 of em till now. I don't know if there are newer ones.. if anyone knows pls let me know...

(mooning)
(finger)
(bandit)
(toivo)
(drunk)
(smoking) or (ci)
(rock)
(headbang) or (banghead)
(poolparty)
(fubar)
(tmi)
(swear)

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money that she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.